July 31  ♥  813 notes


this is a chihuahua pug mix


im so sad i didnt appreciate 2013 harry as much as i should have at least zayn doesnt have an expiration date

July 31  ♥  82 notes


Welcome to futuristic Chicago, a series of dilapidated skyscrapers, a lack of Lake Michigan, and some sort of ugly chicken wire fence to keep the birds out.  Ever since the brutal war 100 years ago, some order needed to be restored, and boy was it ever. 

Here’s where Beatrice Prior comes in, our heroine for the next two hours and fifteen minutes.  You see, Beatrice has just turned 13, had her Bat Mitzvah, and now it is time to make the one decision that will impact the rest of her life.  Which of Chicago’s great factions will she choose to join: the nice Amish, the anti-war Amity, the brutally honest Candor, the war-mongering Dauntless, or the people who have an IQ over 100 Erudites?  To keep things simple just remember Candor and Amity do not matter at all in this movie.

To help make Beatrice’s life easier, she takes a quick psychological test where she has to choose which weapon is best to fight off a wild dog, a slab of meat or a knife.  Fortunately, Beatrice is vegetarian so her choice is easy, but before she gets a chance to select the knife (game lag perhaps?) the items mystically disappear and the dog lunges.  Unfortunately, Beatrice has lived her life Amish so far and thus does not have any fighting skills. The virtual dog beats her up a bit.

Because Beatrice does not select fast enough, she is deemed a Divergent (hey that’s the title) and must keep this secret, because as we all know, people who do not fit into one cookie-cutter category are horrible.  Beatrice’s stats are as follows: an IQ over 100, is war-mongering, and still is Amish.  This certainly is a problem isn’t it.

The following day, Beatrice must choose a faction to call her own.  This involves sitting in a large auditorium waiting to be called down to cut her hand with a knife (everyone uses the same knife; there are no blood-transmitted diseases in the future apparently) and drop some blood on the faction’s cauldron of her choosing.  When it is Beatrice’s turn, she cuts her hand with the gross knife and then is about to pick the Amish when all of a sudden a large gust of wind pushes her blood droplet to the war-mongering Dauntless bowl.  Sorry Betty, there are no take backs.

Betty now has joined Dauntless and must prove herself in a series of hazing rituals before the 2nd in command guy will make out with her.  His name is Four because there are five factions.

Eventually Beatrice figures out that the people with an IQ over 100 are bad and plotting to make the war-mongering people take out the Amish.  This upsets Beatrice because her parents are Amish and she herself is 1/3 Amish.

All of a sudden everyone in Dauntless lines up to be brainwashed.  Beatrice doesn’t really feel like getting brainwashed, but they inject her with the brainwashing drug regardless.  However, since she is Divergent, she is fine.  The brainwashing drug only works on people who are solely war-mongers, of course.

The smart people activate the mind-control device and the Dauntless folks all file into downtown Chicago and start rounding up the Amish, the greatest threat to world peace.  Betty tries to pretend like she has been brainwashed along with love interest Four, but they are quickly discovered.  Four is captured, but Betty escapes because her mom is one good shot with a paintball gun. 

Betty and her mom race through Chicago on their way to meet up with Dad, but her mom is not fast enough and gets shot in the street.  Betty cries for 23 seconds before continuing on her mission to find her father.

After ringing several doorbells, Betty eventually finds her father and her brother (he’s not important) and a couple of other Amish farmers.  They decide they need to infiltrate the Dauntless headquarters because for some reason the Smarties have taken it over as their base of operations for the mind-control operation. 

Betty and the Amish clan invade the HQ, but Betty’s father decides he wants to play hero and gets shot by a paintball gun.  He needs some time to recuperate so Betty goes on solo into the deep, dark HQ.  There she finds a bunch of smart people and her love interest Four.  He is super Divergent so he is immune to mind-control.  This is great news, because these two alone know enough martial arts to take out all the smart people.  Betty stabs a smart lady in the hand with a knife because she wanted to try out her knife throwing skills that she learned back in training.  Smart lady turns off the mind-control and the Amish are saved. 

Love interest Four and Betty ride off into the sunset and move to the suburbs to live a quieter life where they can practice knife throwing in peace.  Betty refuses to marry him until he changes his name to a cooler sounding number.

If you like Ellie Goulding, there are 3 Ellie Goulding songs that play throughout the movie.  If you like people running fast to jump onto moving trains, there are also exactly 3 of those scenes. 

3/5 stars because I felt there could be more Ellie Goulding and running fast to jump onto moving trains scenes.

Charli XCX being queen x

July 30  ♥  772 notes


if you ever feel bad about yourself, just remember this one time in my english class, we were writing horror stories and one of the girls wrote “it was friday the 13th, the night before halloween” for her opening sentence